Shows: American Idol, ANTM, The Surreal Life, The Real World, Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, Dancing with the Stars, The OC, Cheerleader Nation, etc. Specials: Who’s Bowling Right Now?; Random Questions; Stink Pinks; Baby Jessica Updates

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Dear Ashley,

I'm writing to you to address a few things that I've noticed about you on your reality show, which I really do adore...I have to admit, before seeing you on MTV's "There and Back," I was not a huge fan, generally thinking that O-Town was crap, I had no idea who the hell you were, but I have to say you are a pure delight and i get an incredible kick out of your life. It's true. Your antics are hilarious. I mean, you have no money and live with your baby mama's mama, yet you refuse to get a job. Now that is what i call comedy. slapstick really.

Love love love that you are friends with Donald Faison (btw, Donald, why are you friends with this moron? i lose all respect for you)

Anyway, moving along to the crux of my email, i have a few questions, which I will enumerate here...

#1 Did you tattoo "Lyric" on your forearm before or after you decided to name your son (god bless him for having that cross to bear for the rest of his life) "Lyric" ?

#2 Did you watch the movie, "Crazy/Beautiful", starring Kirsten Dunst, Jay Hernandez and a some-times titty flashing Taryn Manning, before or after you wrote your "fucking hit-song", "Crazy - Beautiful"?

#3 Did you think calling that guy at the Roxy, "bitch," was a proper response to him calling you "cupcake" or did you think having your girlfriend fight for you was better? just curious, i thought both were pretty gay and made the whole "cupcake" thing ring pretty true.

#4 Remember that time you invited your friend Jacob over to help you make a toy chest, and then he made the entire thing and you took credit for it? that was cool

#5 Are you or are you not a transsexual? I distinctly remember you saying that "after this I'm getting my tubes cut," referring to what I assume are your Fallopian tubes. please explain.

#6 You did realize, didn't you, that Tiffany's mom did NOT ask for you that drunken morning at 6am to take care of Lyric, right? like you can't be fooled that easily, can you? I was thinking you should really stop babysitting the kid so much, like Tiffany's mom is right there, let her pick up some of the parental duties. jeez. oh wait, that was meant the other way around.

Thanks a million Ash.

btw, LOVE LOVE LOVE, your myspace profile


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